dearest eating disorder

i hate you so much

we hurt, you know.
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
come on, let your heart bleed out
We don't know why, but here we are.
Our sister comm, an alternative recovery community, is renourish.

This is a community for the truly eating disordered. Unlucky souls, we are here to share our feelings without running into either people who tell us we're disgusting or people who want to become just as sick as we are. We are not pro-ana, pro-mia, or anything but pro-recovery. No matter how we became eating disordered, or what eating disorder we suffer from, we know that no one who knows what eating disorders are like would actually want one. We therefore do not take seriously any attempt to learn how to mimic the symptoms of a grievous disease, so if you are looking to either learn how to have an eating disorder or even to get back into one, do not come to us to get 'tips' or 'tricks'. Value yourself enough to refuse to hate your body.

If you have an eating disorder, join. If you do not, and you join anyway, you will be summarily removed without notice. We do not take kindly to having people pester us and clog up the community with delusions that they will be thin and their life will be perfect if they just starve a little longer.
- Put all pictures behind a cut.
- Be polite to others.
- Give well thought-out advice and support.
- Comment on entries that do not have any comments yet.
- Push yourself towards recovery.
- Check before advertising communities.
- Put your stats, if you want to post them, behind a cut.
- Put any weight/food-related numbers behind a cut.
- Put anything about self-injury behind a cut.

Do not
- Post pornography or other such things.
- Post 'thinspiration' of any kind.
- Harass other users.
- Talk about 'diets'. That just masks that this is a disease.
- Glorify eating disorders.

What are eating disorders?

Eating disorders, from a sufferer's point of view, are pure hell. The primary behavioral aspect - that is, what makes extreme unhappiness with one's body into action and thus an eating disorder - is one or more of several things that surround how you interact with food.

- Starving.
This is the most widely recognized behavior, as well as the most 'glorified'. One can intentionally starve themselves using a diet (which the maintainer defines as dysfunctional eating no matter what your weight), but because calorie restriction for weight loss dieting is commonly accepted, this is hard to define in any meaningful way other than this: when you are intentionally eating less than your BMR (basal metabolic rate), you are starving yourself.
- Binging.
This is possibly one of the most ridiculed eating disordered behaviors. A binge is where you eat far more than a healthy person in a reasonable amount of time and in a mental state wherein you feel powerless to stop eating. It is commonly done in secret because of the extreme shame associated with it, and may or may not propel weight gain. This is also one that arguably inflicts some of the most emotional pain on those suffering from it.
- Purging.
This may or may not be preceded by binging, but it will almost certainly be followed by a binge. Purging can take the form of self-induced vomiting, but also through inappropriate use of laxatives and diuretics. Another, unofficial form of purging, but one commonly undertaken by those who suffer from eating disorders, is through extreme amounts of exercise, completed solely for the purpose of ridding the body of any calories seen as 'excess'.
- Chewing and Spitting.
This is another, lesser-known form of disordered eating wherein a person regularly spits out food after chewing it. This may be done of the sufferer's own volition, or to avoid weight gain when restriction is not seen as an option. This is not all that much safer than other behaviors; it can result in ulcers, heartburn, dental problems and enlarged salivary glands in the cheeks.

The simple fact is that all these behaviors are risky and emotionally and physically damaging. They also self-perpetuate through unbalancing the body's natural chemicals until, the sufferer's mentality completely changed, they become addicted. Purging depletes electrolytes, precipitating binging; binging itself is a mechanism to flood the body with things to do and numb the mind to emotions. Starvation and chewing and spitting are similar and may even be present in the same sufferer; through depleting the body's nutrients, these create fear and shame when the sufferer eats, leading to self-perpetuation.
The Emotional Side

However, behaviors are not the only part of eating disorders; an equally important component is the emotional causes/effects of eating disorders. For many people sufferng from eating disorders, its development is precipitated by emotional suffering or its exact opposite, the emotional dissociation disorder. (This is different from dissociative identity disorder, where multiple personalities are present.) All eating disorders either begin as or take on the role of a coping mechanism and, just as other forms of self-injury are, they are extremely maladaptive and can be deadly.

For most people who suffer from an eating disorder, their behaviors are accompanied by any of the following: feelings of shame, worthlessness, self-hatred, hurt, feelings of abandonment, anger and suicidal ideation. In this way, we can see how eating disorders can easily become either punishment or escape - even both at the same time. For some people who also suffer from dissociation disorders or whose eating disorders have gone on for years, however, there is usually a component and a feeling of it being 'just a habit' - either something to keep them sane or just something they 'do'. Make no mistake, however, that it is still extremely self-destructive.

Though the feelings of people with eating disorders are often dismissed, particularly surrounding their fear of certain foods and/or rituals they partake in, these feelings are valid. As said before, it is a (maladaptive) coping mechanism. People with eating disorders are usually not delusional in that they do not have a problem; any denial here is generally to keep their secret because of the shame that an eating disorder creates.

Another emotional aspect of an eating disorder is the hatred of the self, including one's body. Many of these people may have what is called body dysmorphic disorder, in which they percieve their body to be much fatter or much thinner than other people, and in a negative fashion. Body dysmorphic disorder means that those suffering from eating disorders do not feel beautiful, pretty, handsome or any other positive adjective as relating to the body. They just see ugliness, as they do with their own mind. The feeling of body dysmorphic disorder has been described by busysecrets, the maintainer, as "Feeling like a monster and being unable to comprehend why no one else can see it."

More to come.

If you need help with finding a therapist or counselor, checking yourself into inpatient, are being abused in some way or having another crisis and/or are having thoughts of suicide, PLEASE call one of these numbers.

Anorexia Nervosa and Associate Disorders:
Boys and girls Town National Hotline:
800- 448-3000
Bulimia/Anorexia Self Help Hotline:
800- 227-4785
Eating Disorders Hotline:
800- 448-4663
Kids Help Phone (Canada):
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD):
847- 831-3438
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA):
National Mental Health Association Information Center:
Referrals to Eating Disorder specialists (US and Canada):
Thursday's Child National Call Center for at Risk Youth:
Youth Crisis Line:
Youth Helpline
0845 6347650
The Eating Distress Helpline (Ireland): 011-44-2600366
Anorexia and Bulimia Care:
01462 423351
b-eat - beat eating disorders
Helpline: 0845 6341414
Youthline: 0845 634 7650
British Nutrition Foundation:
020 7404 6504
01582 457474
The International Eating Disorders Centre:
01296 330557
The National Centre for Eating Disorders:
0845 838 20 40
National Institute for Health & Clinical Excellence: 020 7067 5800
Northern Initiative on Women & Eating:
0191 261 7010
020 8554 9004
Threshold Women's Mental Health Infoline:
0808 808 6000
Young Minds:
0800 018 2138
Youth Helpline:
0845 6347650

Taken from Weighing the Facts Blog to keep you all safe and alive.


Something Fishy
We Bite Back!
The F Word Blog
mamaVISION Blog
Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.

More to come.

Eating Disorder Dictionary

eating disorder
anorexia nervosa
bulimia nervosa
eating disorder not otherwise specified
compulsive overeating disorder
binge eating disorder
binge and purge
chew and spit
shorthand for anorexia
inpatient treatment
outpatient treatment
shorthand for bulimia
someone who wants anorexia
someone who wants bulimia

That pro-thinspo idiot will be banned on sight.